Breakdown

circa 2002

i keep searching my soul for a glimmer of beauty or hope.
i keep searching my face for a hope of seeing a smile of confidence.
None of these things are there
no glimmer of beauty or hope
i find no confidence, no smile, no happiness
i search my heart to find a reason why
i feel so betrayed.
i search my body for a little strength to pull me through.
i find None, no strength, no reason to feel betrayed.
pleasant in my breakdown
this is all in my head
my soul is not hurt, my heart is no bleeding.
i have all the strength i need, all the beauty instilled at birth
and i am happy and confident
at least i think.